


tell me how you feel after all

by supersonicmen



Series: freddie mercury & jim hutton [7]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Jimercury - Fandom, Queen (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Conversations, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Feelings, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Healthy Relationships, Husbands, I Love You, I hope it doesn't seem like it's all "fixed" though, Jim has already moved into the lodge, Love, M/M, Marriage, Queen - Freeform, Realization, Sad, Soft Boys, Talking, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, apologies if this sucks, because that's not how life works, freddie is soft and caring, it's the mid 1980's?, jim is sad, jimercury, rainy saturday
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-28
Updated: 2019-01-30
Packaged: 2019-10-15 00:44:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17518976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supersonicmen/pseuds/supersonicmen
Summary: Freddie comes home early from the studio on a rainy afternoon and is surprised to find Jim in a different mood than usual.Or: Jim sometimes experiences days where he is self-conscious and sad. Freddie finds him after a long morning in the studio and in the midst of it finds himself in unfamiliar territory.Title is from/inspired by the song 'Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy'





	1. one

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!! I hope you enjoy this story. I'm not quite sure why I always end up writing things more from Jim's point of view, but it for some reason always happens lol.
> 
> Thank you for all the constant support, I'm still so surprised and amazed by it. I hope you're having a lovely day so far, and if you're not, I hope this makes it a little bit better!!!

_Everything's all right, just hold on tight._

—

It's a rainy Saturday afternoon and Jim is currently sprawled across the mattress. He's on his stomach, his face buried in between the dark silk bed sheets. He loves the way the silk feels against his body, and the whole room — it screams Freddie. Every colour, every trinket, every smell, it's a striking personal description of the rockstar and Jim is convinced he will never be able to get enough of it.

This morning, when Freddie left to go to the studio, Jim didn't say a word about his mood being off. Today is one of those days where his mind is fuzzy and it's hard work to get out and about.

He's felt this way many times before. It started way back, maybe around age fourteen?  
He doesn't think it's anything for Fred to worry about, he's already got enough on his mind being in the process of making an album. So, he's set the alarm for twenty minutes before he's due back, secretly hoping that today is not one of the days when the band wraps things up ahead of schedule.

He had been hoping that days like this were behind him, ever since he met Freddie — his outlook on life has been so much more positive. Living with a man who's number one goal is to make sure that his partner is feeling love and support every day has its perks. 

He doesn't want him to think it's anything he caused, and he doesn't want him to think that it's anything he can fix either. He's usually only engulfed in it for around a day or two anyway and then he's back to his normal and giddy self.

He hates feeling this way because he knows he shouldn't. He's also conflicted because he doesn't want Freddie to feel self- conscious in terms of their relationship, it really has nothing to do with that. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

He's not quite sure what the cause is, but he does know that he's become quite dissatisfied with himself lately, not knowing what to say or do — always second-guessing his actions.

—

About thirty minutes later he's woken up from his light sleep by something other than his alarm. He feels fingers running through his hair and as he stirs awake he hears a sigh and feels the weight shift closer to him on the mattress. He curses silently, his eyes shut tightly.  
Of course, this has to be the day the band finishes early.

"Hello, my darling." He hears Freddie speaks softly.

Initially, Jim thinks that he'll be able to play off that he's ill and that could be the end of it. But he knows himself and he's always been a terrible liar. So after some contemplation, he decides to give in and come clean.

"You're home early?" is all he can get out before he yawns quite loudly. Freddie giggles for a split second but instantly he catches himself and snaps back into being the caring husband that he is. 

"We finished up sooner than expected. I also missed you." With that Freddie moves to lie down next to him. He's close enough that Jim can feel his light breathing tickle his face and close enough to notice that the other man looks so incredibly tired and worn out.

"Are you feeling alright?" He almost whispers, running the back of his hand along the side of Jim's face.

When he finally flutters his eyes open he's met by Freddie's beautiful but concerned glare. He decides again at that moment that it's not fair to keep hiding these days from the man he loves so immensely.


	2. two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi!!! so i’ve been quite busy but writing this story so far has really been helping me relax when i need it most — i hope you like this next part! pretty sure there’s going to be 3 chapters in total but no promises lol

Jim sighs while he quickly tries to sort out how to explain what he’s feeling. 

“I just have these days sometimes Fred.” It’s sort of a mumble, but Freddie understands him. _He always does._

Silence fills the room again. This sort of situation is foreign for both of them. They’ve had tough conversations obviously, but never the type of topics that Jim has swimming around in his head. 

Obviously, Freddie wants to help in every possible way he can, but he knows in order to do that he needs to hear from Jim exactly how he’s feeling. 

“Jim dear, I want to do my best to help you feel better, but in order for me to do that you’re going to have to explain a bit more okay?” Jim has always loved the way he forms his words, and he’s always loved the effect that his voice has on him. The different tones and volumes are always chosen perfectly for any given moment.

He didn’t think it was possible but he felt his heart swell in his chest, and he was overwhelmed with the familiar feeling of amazement. 

He stares at Fred for a moment, and his breathing shifts.  Even though he knows there’s no reason to be, he’s a bit nervous. He doesn’t want Freddie to think this is his fault. He breaks the silence, his words forming achingly slow compared to his racing thoughts. 

“I’ve had this since I was young… once in a while I’ll have days when I just feel, sort of strange. My mind takes over and I feel overly-conscious of everything that I’m doing.” Freddie listens carefully because Jim is speeding up his words as he’s getting them out, and this is all just very new to him and he wants to handle it in the best way possible.

“My emotions get all mixed up and I don’t really know how to explain it properly… It’s almost like I experience them in greater depth?” When he finishes he’s looking right at Freddie, searching for the normal clues that he’s either worried, scared, or going to start crying. 

To his surprise, though he doesn’t see any of that, he instead sees the man he loves looking concerned. It’s not the usual look he wears though, it’s more of a mix between concerned and flat out surprised, or shocked?

“I’m not going to say I understand exactly what you’re feeling, because only you know what that is my love… but I do want to let you know that I will always listen to you.” He flashes a small smile toward Jim. 

“I will always listen and I’ll always try to understand, I hope you know that.” 

Jim lets out a shaky breath. “I do know that Freddie.”

“Good. Now, since we’ve gotten that out of the way, do you want to try to tell me more? I think if I know more of the specifics I could be of more help, but only if you want to of course.” With that he reaches out to place his hand in between them, thinking that maybe the Jim would want to hold onto it. Whenever Freddie is upset, physical contact is one of the best forms of comfort. 

He leaves it there, and when he sees Jim notice it he can’t help but hope he’ll grab onto it. He has to admit he loves it when they hold hands. There’s something about the way their fingers interlock, and the smoothness of Jim’s palm against his own, it almost feels as if they were made to be intertwined. 

Jim must understand, because Freddie soon feels the familiar feeling of his warm skin against his own, and his heart swells when he realizes this may be one of the most intimate moments they’ve shared up to this point. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you enjoyed this!! you can always count on me for tooth rotting fluff and lots of emotions ahhh. anyway!! if you want - leave a kudos or a comment below, you guys already know how happy they make me so i won’t say it again! thank you to each of you for reading and I hope that you’re liking this as much as I am!! have a lovely day okay!! -lindsey

**Author's Note:**

> Don't worry!! I will be updating this soon ahh. I've been in a bit of a block lately, my thoughts aren't really flowing very well into actual stories, I do hope that you liked it though!!!!
> 
> As always please let me know if you did and if you want to read more?? All the kudos and comments I receive make me so incredibly happy I am always amazed by how lovely you all are!
> 
> I hope you have a wonderful day and I will see you soon!!! If you want to chat you can find me on tumblr (supersonicmen) and I also have a queen/freddie twitter!! which is @loveiyfreddie ! i'm always up to talk!!! I have so much love for each of you!! 
> 
> -Lindsey


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